I couldn't afford Personal Development when I needed it the most...

When I was super broke (like really, really, "some-months-couldn't-afford-my-rent-and groceries"- broke), somehow, I would still find the money to go on vacation. Seriously. I claimed I needed it for my sanity, for my mental health. And to be fair, I did. I was grinding, building my practice, and everyone deserves a break. I was completely burnout. I needed to breathe. 
 
It wasn’t until later I would realize that if you had asked me to invest that same money into myself (my health, or personal development)   – well, then “I couldn’t afford it!”. And you see this all the time.
 
$1500 for an all-inclusive down south? Coming right up!
$1500 for a personal development seminar to make my current and future life more enjoyable? Can’t afford that.
 
Sure both bring happiness.
One short term and temporary.
One long term and an investment in myself.
One leaves you with a tan, the other with life skills and contentment.
Same same, right? (Haaa, we wish!)
 
Essentially, I was using that $1500 to escape the life I had, rather than invest it in creating one that I wanted - the cliché “Life you don’t need to escape from”.  I couldn’t see that at the time, but that’s usually the case with hindsight…I didn’t realize I was doing this. If I had, if someone had given me this perspective, I wonder what I would have done at the time (maybe the same thing, who knows!)
 
The sad part was, is the money I would have invested in myself over a 6, 8, or 12 week course, would have allowed me to find the peace, happiness, (and hope, clarity (etc.)) in my world at that time, and if not that, maybe to have had the confidence and strength to go after what I actually wanted to change it. Instead, I spent my entire 20’s being a “victim” of my own choices. I felt “hard done by” a lot of the time.
We see this all the time.
 
Hair done? Check.
Gym membership? Too expensive.
Happy Hour Margaritas? Check.
Organic whole food? Too expensive.
 
It’s common for people who haven’t invested in personal development to not understand the value. I didn’t either…until I did.
 
But it’s a good question to ask ourselves, when something comes to our health – physical, mental, or emotional, is it that I can’t afford it? Or is it that I’m prioritizing something else?
 
It’s often not that people can’t afford it. It’s that they choose to spend that money elsewhere. 

And that’s ok, too!
 
Do you vacation to escape the life you live?

What could be different if you invested that into building one that you love? One you didn't have to escape from...one that you could CREATE....?

I still remind myself of this all the time. It's a huge perspective shifter. 

I remember sitting on this beach. Burnout early in my career, still carrying a massive amount of student, but justified running away because I desperately needed a break. Looking at this photo, I remember exactly how much I couldn't fully enjoy being here because I knew I couldn't afford it. I knew I had to return to the work life I was dreading. I knew the stress was sitting there, waiting for me to come back... I did this more than a few times before realizing it was a complete waste of my money because I wasn't even able to be present and savor the break. (It wasn't a mental break, my mind kept going!) . That's the thing with hindsight, though...isn't it? Personal development truly is a life long journey.