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When I was super broke (like really, really, "some-months-couldn't-afford-my-rent-and groceries"- broke), somehow, I would still find the money to go on vacation. Seriously. I claimed I needed it for my sanity, for my mental health. And to be fair, I did. I was grinding, building my practice, and everyone deserves a break. I was completely burnout. I needed to breathe. It wasn’t until later I would realize that if you had asked me to invest that same money into myself (my health, or personal development) – well, then “I couldn’t afford it!”. And you see this all the time. $1500 for an all-inclusive down south? Coming right up! $1500 for a personal development seminar to make my current and future life more enjoyable? Can’t afford that. Sure both bring happiness. One short term and temporary. One long term and an investment in myself. One leaves you with a tan, the other with life skills and contentment. Same same, right? (Haaa, we wish!) Essentially, I was using that $1500 to escape the life I had, rather than invest it in creating one that I wanted - the cliché “Life you don’t need to escape from”. I couldn’t see that at the time, but that’s usually the case with hindsight…I didn’t realize I was doing this. If I had, if someone had given me this perspective, I wonder what I would have done at the time (maybe the same thing, who knows!) The sad part was, is the money I would have invested in myself over a 6, 8, or 12 week course, would have allowed me to find the peace, happiness, (and hope, clarity (etc.)) in my world at that time, and if not that, maybe to have had the confidence and strength to go after what I actually wanted to change it. Instead, I spent my entire 20’s being a “victim” of my own choices. I felt “hard done by” a lot of the time. We see this all the time. Hair done? Check. Gym membership? Too expensive. Happy Hour Margaritas? Check. Organic whole food? Too expensive. It’s common for people who haven’t invested in personal development to not understand the value. I didn’t either…until I did. But it’s a good question to ask ourselves, when something comes to our health – physical, mental, or emotional, is it that I can’t afford it? Or is it that I’m prioritizing something else? It’s often not that people can’t afford it. It’s that they choose to spend that money elsewhere. And that’s ok, too! Do you vacation to escape the life you live? What could be different if you invested that into building one that you love? One you didn't have to escape from...one that you could CREATE....? I still remind myself of this all the time. It's a huge perspective shifter.  I remember sitting on this beach. Burnout early in my career, still carrying a massive amount of student, but justified running away because I desperately needed a break. Looking at this photo, I remember exactly how much I couldn't fully enjoy being here because I knew I couldn't afford it. I knew I had to return to the work life I was dreading. I knew the stress was sitting there, waiting for me to come back... I did this more than a few times before realizing it was a complete waste of my money because I wasn't even able to be present and savor the break. (It wasn't a mental break, my mind kept going!) . That's the thing with hindsight, though...isn't it? Personal development truly is a life long journey.
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 “If I’m not DOING something to chase my goals, I’m wasting my time.” Do you ever feel like that? That’s what I used to think, too. And then Thomas Edison made me realize otherwise. (What? The lightbulb guy...?) And experience, of course… to “know better” usually takes experience (proof) of the alternative. But constantly "being productive" tends to mean that we put fun, play, hobbies, rest, socializing (all the “good things”) aside, not realizing that those things could be exactly what you need to help you “find your answers” or “solve your problems”. What…?? How?! 5 things to counter the “I must be DOING” to be productive mindset: 1. Thomas Edison Yes, the inventor of the lightbulb, would regularly fish alone. After thousands of attempts to make a filament, it was while fishing with a bamboo pole where he has an “ah-ha” moment! Bamboo wasn’t the final answer, but it burned much longer than what he was currently working on, and it worked when he returned to the lab to try it – it was the next step to get him to his final answer. An idea that came to him, when stepping away from the problem. 2. You already know. Your overthinking is too loud. If you are working through a problem and you have genuinely considered all options, chances are, the answer in already inside you - you just can’t HEAR it because of all the noise. Your subconscious is PROCESSING the information, now let it do it's job. How will you now if you need to do this? The SAME thoughts are swirling and swirling and swirling around, no new added value. If you have thought of everything, try stepping away. The answer will come when you silence your brain, giving your inner voice/intuition to speak up and be HEARD. If you are overthinking it, chances are you are stressed. And when we are stressed, we are looking for an exit plan. 3. Stress and the Emergency Exit When we are stressed, we shift from seeing opportunities, to looking for the emergency exit. When we are in a stressful situation, most of the time, we want out. "Get me out of here!" We are looking for any exit…You see it, you go! Although, hold on… it might not have been the best door… When we are less stressed, we are able to see more doors. More doors, lead to more opportunities and different pathways/solutions… Stepping away from a stressful situation allows our nervous system to calm down enough to not only be able to see more doors (to see more ways out of the stress), but to create more doors ourselves. However, what does stress do to our creativity? 4. We are less creative when we are stressed... …leading to less ways of doing things. If we step away from the stress, the work, the problem, not only can we see more options, but we can create them by being in new energy or a new environment . “You’ve got to slow down, to speed up.” And, "The pace of life, isn’t fast, yet everything gets done." 5. You must stop for gas. When we take a break to fill our gas tank with fun, socializing, rest, exercise, and (gasp) JOY(!), we come back with a fuller tank. We have more to give than if we kept burning what’s left of the midnight oil. We feel more like our true selves. When we do FUN things, we literally “resonate at a higher frequency" (the frequency of joy) (don’t roll your eyes) – the same higher frequencies that allow us to be more creative, and come back solution focused, rather than problem focused. And what if… What if being productive is just a “habit”? In reality, there is always something we can be “doing”, but “could be” isn’t the same as “should be”. There’s always more to be done if you want to do it. But, are you chasing the fallacy of an empty do to list? If so, will your habit of being “productive” just keep putting more things on it? Hmmm…Likely. Find the balance to give the world the best of you, rather than the rest of you. Constantly needing to feel productive, actually drove me nuts. (I’ve learned I solve all my problems when I’m running!) But to still be productive in a more enjoyable way, took conscious choice and effort to change. Whether it’s managing your stress, managing your priorities, or managing your guilt (and other emotions) around prioritizing yourself, this is your life. We can find a way. Each of my 4 programs address this. Which is best for you? Click here: Let's set up a chat. Danielle  |
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June 2023
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